THE HIT HAMMER: Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"

(The Hit Hammer is where I'm reviewing each #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. Starting from when the chart started in 1958 and eventually working my way to the present. To see my inspiration and more information about this blog, please CLICK HERE)

Bobby Goldsboro - "Honey"

Hit Number 1: April 13, 1968

Stay at Number 1: 5 Weeks

A man looks at a tree in his yard. He admires how big it has grown over such a short amount of time. He remembers the day his wife planted it in the yard, when it was "just a twig", and he laughed at her for how silly it looked. This man and his wife had gone through a lot together. He bought her a puppy which kept him up all Christmas Eve. She wrecked their car, and the guy tried to act mad about it, but instead the girl hugged him in embrace. He also tells how he would come home from working late, and he would know that she'd been crying over a "sad and silly" late late show. This relationship sounds "interesting", in all sorts of ways. First, the woman seems to act like a child, and the guy seems like a jerk. Then all of a sudden the woman dies in the song of some unknown cause, and it leaves the guy sad. He describes his life being an "empty stage" since she died. And that's the story of "Honey".

"Honey" is the song for anyone named Bob. I mean this stuff is almost ridiculous. It was written by a guy named Bobby Russell, who had a brief marriage with future Hit Hammer topic Vicki Lawrence. Russell first did the song himself, with production help from Bob Shane, a former member of the Kingston Trio. Russell's version went nowhere, and he gave it to an American singer named Bobby Goldsboro, who got his production help from songwriter Bob Montgomery. Many Bobs later, Goldsboro was an out-of-nowhere international star. "Honey" was huge across the globe. It obviously hit #1 in America, but it made charts in England, Australia, Canada, Ireland, and New Zealand. It even hit #1 in all of those countries, except for England, where it peaked at #2. (I'm sorry but I can't seem to find what kept it from #1 there) Some records even state that "Honey" was the biggest song in the whole world in 1968, even bigger than "Hey Jude", a Beatles song that will soon end up in this blog.

"Honey" is an obvious attempt at a sad, sappy love song, and I'm not sure why it was as big as it was. There's a lot that people looked past in 1968, that's very hard to look past today. There doesn't seem to be much love going on in this song; the girl only seems to be intimidated by the guy. The part that does carry some weight, however, is the final verse, when the girl has died. Interestingly enough, I usually hate songs that kill characters off for seemingly no reason. (See "Teen Angel" or "Leader of the Pack" if you want to see for yourself) But in "Honey", it's the one thing that saves the song from being an absolute piece of garbage. We hear about this underwhelming love story of this relationship, only for us to be shocked that the girl has apparently died. You almost feel for the guy a little bit, even though he did seem to act a little bit like a jerk when she was alive. But the way he laments about his lost love in the final verse, it gives you a sense that there really was some true love the whole time. Maybe they just had a complicated relationship? Yeah, we'll go with that.

As for the sound of "Honey", it's, again, very sappy. There are some sleepy strings, quiet bells, and a choir that joins Goldsboro in the final verse. Goldsboro sings with a quiver, almost like he's not sure what he's doing, or that he's very nervous while he's singing. Musically, it's underachieving. Lyrically, it's strange. Maybe that's a factor of why "Honey" stands as one of the worst-aging songs of all time. Rolling Stone ran a poll back in 2011, with voters claiming it to be the second-worst song from the 1960s. (I don't know what they voted as #1, but I really want to know) One music critic slammed the song, saying that it was the worst #1 song of all time. "Honey" is not among my worst #1 songs of all time list. Instead, it's just a really weird, yet really depressing song. It attempts at a powerful story, but it only reaches the halfway point. The production team tried to surround the song with sweet, innocent music, but instead produced gloop. But the line "Honey I miss you/And I'm being good/I'd love to be with you/If only I could" combined with the final verse of the narrator's laments, it does have its share of power that I can't deny.

GRADE: 5/10

JUST MISSED:

The Box Tops made their second bid for a #1 hit (after "The Letter") but it fell short, peaking at #2 behind "Honey". It's "Cry Like a Baby", and it's a 6. Here it is: