(The Hit Hammer is where I'm reviewing each #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. Starting from when the chart started in 1958 and eventually working my way to the present. To see my inspiration and more information about this blog, please CLICK HERE)
Chuck Berry - "My Ding-a-Ling"
Hit Number 1: October 21, 1972
Stay at Number 1: 2 Weeks
I wanna make something clear here: I love novelty music. I don't think there's anything wrong with songs that make you laugh, or songs that are meant to be nothing but a good time. But sometimes, these songs are just too much. "My Ding-a-Ling" is as too much as it gets. It's a live recording of a song written in 1952, and the #1 version is done by none other than rock and roll legend Chuck Berry. When Berry recorded his live version in 1972, he was 45 years old and past his prime. But he still put on great shows and lived a hell of a life. What's sad though is that I love Chuck Berry, and I've always thought "My Ding-a-Ling" was a severe blemish on what was a great music career. He loved this ridiculous song however, and considered it to be his "alma mater" during his live shows.
All "My Ding-a-Ling" is, is sad little jokes about playing with your dick. The narrator was given a gift by his grandmother that was silver bells on a string, which he called his "ding-a-ling", and he describes all these insane situations like swimming across a creek with snapping turtles, and falling off of a garden wall. But he still manages to hang onto his "ding-a-ling." Berry cheerfully, and childishly, plays this game with his audience, like a call-and-response. He wants the girls to sing "my" and the guys to sing "ding-a-ling" in the chorus. But Berry has something to tell those of you who won't sing along. He says "those of you who will not sing, you must be playing with your own ding-a-ling!" It's very professional stuff, of course.
Again, I've really been dreading this part of my Hit Hammer journey, not because "My Ding-a-Ling" sucks, but because I have a lot of respect for Berry's music career. I have no idea where the hell this came from. Berry is most known for his rock and roll anthem, the timeless banger "Johnny B. Goode", a song loosely based off of Berry's start in the music industry. (It didn't chart on the Hot 100, as it was released before the start of it. It's still a 10) Before "My Ding-a-Ling", Berry's highest-charting song on the Hot 100 was "No Particular Place to Go", another great song that used Berry's famed blues format. (It made it to #10 in 1964. It's an 8) Berry admitted that if his music career didn't pan out, that he wanted to be a comedian. And I'll admit that Berry could be a very funny guy if he wanted to be. He had a natural stage presence that was easy to admire, and he always seemed to be most comfortable on stage. But the whole "My Ding-a-Ling" was bull crap.
Everything just sounds bad. It's hardly even a matter of the song not being funny. The song sounds like it's done by a weird old man, who has a sense of humor like that of a little kid. It's like nails on a chalkboard, it's not easy to get through the whole thing. If anything, it sounds like Berry going through an abysmal mid-life crisis. Berry's voice, the sketchy guitars, the weird exuberance of the crowd... there's nothing good to speak of here. We're encountering something we haven't seen since "Leader of the Pack" in 1964. We're seeing some of the worst the Hot 100 #1 hits have to offer. I wish Berry could get a chance to redeem himself, but he won't. This is the only thing we get to hear from him.
GRADE: 1/10
JUST MISSED:
Elvis should have appeared again in this blog, but his soulful fireball of a song "Burning Love" peaked at #2 behind "My Ding-a-Ling". It's a 9. The fact that "My Ding-a-Ling" kept it away from #1 ruined my day.
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