THE HIT HAMMER: Melanie's "Brand New Key"

(The Hit Hammer is where I'm reviewing each #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. Starting from when the chart started in 1958 and eventually working my way to the present. To see my inspiration and more information about this blog, please CLICK HERE)

Melanie - "Brand New Key"

Hit Number 1: December 25, 1971

Stay at Number 1: 3 Weeks

According to Melanie herself, "Brand New Key" came about after a trip to McDonald's. She described in an interview years later that she had gone on a fast on water, but eventually ended up breaking the fast. She said she had gone back to living her life in New Jersey and her and her family went to a flea market. She had been a vegetarian before her fast, but when they passed by a McDonald's on their way back from the flea market, she described it as an "aroma" hitting her. They stopped at the McDonald's, and she ordered a burger. When she finished, the song just popped in her head. The aroma brought back memories of when she was a kid learning to ride a bike and roller skating. So basically, "Brand New Key" only exists because Melanie decided to break her diet.

The song is about as happy-go-lucky as it gets. In fact, the term "happy-go-lucky" only exists because of stuff like this. The song is about a girl on roller skates who keeps trying to attract the attention of a boy. It's that stereotypical one-sided crush, where someone likes someone else, but the other person doesn't like them back. We've all been there before. For whatever reason, this boy seems to avoid the girl, which she acknowledges, but you have to give this fictional girl some credit. She's hell bent on getting this boy to notice her, who has "something she needs." The something is the famous brand new key.

Melanie said she wrote the song in 15 minutes one night, which isn't that hard to believe. The song doesn't have any deep meaning to it; it's literally just a song about a girl on roller skates who crushes on this boy, who doesn't seem to acknowledge her existence. Melanie's described it as being "cute," and has compared it to something you'd hear out of the 1930s. I can definitely see that, just add some more fuzz to the recording and make Melanie sound a little less like Janis Joplin and more like Patti Page and you'd have yourself a 1930s-esque song. Though that decade was full of dumb music, and "Brand New Key" is, indeed, a dumb song. If I'm not in a good mood, I don't want to hear some carnival-sounding naïve song about roller skates and brand new keys. It can be too dumb for its own good.

For the most part though, "Brand New Key" is really hard to dislike, no matter what your personal music taste is. Like I've already said, it's pretty stupid, but it's that lighthearted, innocent kind of stupid that I can't bring myself to hate. I really don't want to hate it either. It's just a cute little song that will hopefully brighten up your day. Melanie sings the song with this interesting folky, but also soul-like voice. She reaches for high notes in the chorus, which admittedly sound eerie but kind of cool at the same time. The instrumentation sounds like something you'd hear out of a nursery rhyme. It's not a great song, but it's harmless. As we turn the page from 1971 to 1972, there could have been a far worse song at #1. Trust me, it could have been a lot worse than this.

GRADE: 6/10