(The Hit Hammer is where I'm reviewing each #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. Starting from when the chart started in 1958 and eventually working my way to the present. To see my inspiration and more information about this blog, please CLICK HERE)
Olivia Newton-John - "Have You Never Been Mellow"
Hit Number 1: March 8, 1975
Stay at Number 1: 1 Week
There's no denying that Olivia Newton-John was one of the biggest stars on the planet for the latter half of the 1970s. Ever since her music career blossomed with "I Honestly Love You," her stardom would only continue to escalate. But before she was Sandy in Grease, which is the moment where she really became famous in my opinion, she made a healthy living by releasing slow, good-girl music. But what made this music so popular is head-scratching. We all know I'm not someone who usually thinks highly of slow ballad-type songs, but that was the kind of music that ruled the charts in this era of music. For a time, Newton-John was the ruler of this kind of music, and there might not be a single song out there that represents the good girl vibes quite like "Have You Never Been Mellow."
"Have You Never Been Mellow" was the lead single from Newton-John's 1975 album of the same name. But as big as Newton-John was in this moment of music, that album is one of the most boring things she's ever put out. There were only two singles from that album, obviously this one and then the sappy, soaked-with-sorrow "Please Mr. Please," a song about never wanting to hear some song again because it reminds the narrator of a lost love. (Again, very sappy. But sap worked in 1975. It made it to #3 that year, and it's a 5) But "Have You Never Been Mellow" manages to be even sappier than that. Newton-John didn't usually write her own songs, and she often relied on others to do it for her. "Mellow" was written by John Farrar, a guy who would sometimes work with Newton-John on other compositions, and he said he got the idea to write the song after he toured with Newton-John's band, and everyone kept using the word "mellow." Farrar said it was everyone's favorite word at that time, so he wrote a song with the word in it. I know that sounds really strange, but that's what my research is telling me, so there you go.
The song's content tells of someone who is way too high-strung, and the narrator tries to calm them down by telling them they were once just like them, before asking if they've never been mellow. Farrar was also the producer of the song, but he at least knew that the main focus point should be on Newton-John's vocal, which is the only impressive thing about the song. The song is littered with cheesy, '70s soft rock stereotypes: the swooning flute (or what at least sounds like a flute), elementary level percussion and a backing vocalist section that "ooohs" behind Newton-John. Newton-John's vocal, again, is pretty impressive, but she even starts to get old about halfway through the song. "Have You Never Been Mellow" simply just tries too hard; it's not a song that's built to stay interesting for 3 and a half minutes. The buildup to the chorus is also rather anti-climatic. I really don't mean to act like such a hater of this song, as I really do respect the hell out of Newton-John and her amazing career, but when you're reviewing slow ballad after slow ballad, it starts to get old after awhile, and "Have You Never Been Mellow" is just like all the rest of them. It's draining. Disco could not come soon enough.
Once disco arrives, though, Newton-John would prevail and her career would reach new heights in the heart of the disco era. She'll appear in this blog again, and thankfully, she would have pretty much abandoned songs that were like "Have You Never Been Mellow."
GRADE: 4/10
IN POP CULTURE:
I'm surprised it took me this long to feature these dudes in an IPC. Me First and the Gimmes Gimmes are a comedy group that cover older songs and put their own weird rock twist on those songs. Here's them doing their thing to "Have You Never Been Mellow":
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