THE HIT HAMMER: The Osmonds' "One Bad Apple"

(The Hit Hammer is where I'm reviewing each #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. Starting from when the chart started in 1958 and eventually working my way to the present. To see my inspiration and more information about this blog, please CLICK HERE)

The Osmonds - "One Bad Apple"

Hit Number 1: February 13, 1971

Stay at Number 1: 5 Weeks

There are a handful of bands that could be described as "Beatles wannabes." You can't really fault them for that; the Beatles are the most celebrated band of all time, and many bands wanted to try to be the next Beatles. Well, in the early part of the 1970s, the Jackson 5 probably looked like they were going to be the next big thing for awhile. So naturally, they had their fair share of copycats. However no one copied them quite to the extent of the Osmonds, 5 white, toothy teenagers who also, like the Jackson 5, had their own Saturday morning cartoon. (Today's song was the theme song for their show) The big star of the Osmonds was Donny, a then 13-year-old, who was trying to be like Michael Jackson. It actually did work for a little bit, but obviously as time went on Michael became too huge and too talented for Donny to keep up with. Unlike Michael, once Donny grew up no one cared about him anymore.

We're in virtual 1971 right now though, so Michael hadn't come close to his peak yet. This was a time where the Osmonds were another Jackson 5, and Donny sounded just like Michael. For that matter, the Osmonds other lead singer, Merrill Osmond, sounded just like Jermaine Jackson. Because of that, it should be no surprise that the Osmonds' first hit, "One Bad Apple", started out as a Jackson 5 reject. Songwriter George Jackson (no relation to the Jackson 5) wrote "One Bad Apple" as a stereotypical bubble gummy song, which is why he had the Jackson 5 in mind when he wrote it. At the time, that was their specialty. But the Jacksons rejected it, because they were working on another song called "ABC".

All things considered, "ABC" is a far-superior song than "One Bad Apple". It would be interesting to see what the Jacksons could have done for it, but the Osmonds' performance isn't anything special. The only thing to write home about is Donny's few lines that he repeats over and over again. I view that as being a fun little novelty, a kid who sounds just like Michael Jackson letting it loose. But at the same time, while Jackson's lead vocals in his songs sound effortless, Donny's sound forced. Sometimes, it doesn't sound good. It's the best thing about the song, but it's also the worst thing about the song. I'm aware that that probably doesn't make much sense.

Anyway, "One Bad Apple" is still an enjoyable song. "ABC" is an elite bubble-gummy masterpiece, and "One Bad Apple" is just enjoyable background music. It's a nice walk in the park kind of song. It's still among one of the better songs released by the Osmonds, though. The Osmonds did a lot of covers of old songs from the 50s and early 60s, and most of those covers are mediocre. Sometimes they did covers of songs that weren't even that good to begin with. We'll see an example of that the next time we hear from an Osmond in this blog.

Oh yeah, and in case Donny didn't make it clear enough, give it one more try before you give up on love.

GRADE: 6/10

JUST MISSED:

You can't make this stuff up. Yes, the Jackson 5 were kept out of the #1 spot by their own reject. Their song "Mama's Pearl" peaked at #2 behind "One Bad Apple". It's another example of the Jackson 5's superiority to the Osmonds. It's an 8.